The Grieving Process, Thatcher and All That

I felt that I just had to write something about this, after the death of Margaret Thatcher.

How dare people tell others how to grieve! The grieving process is a very personal thing and one grieves differently for different people. But British society would have us believe that there is only one way to grieve, which includes doing things such as wearing black, being quiet, keeping one's head down, crying, and reminiscing.

Heavens! There are many different ways to grieve.

And if one thinks that one particular person caused or helped to cause misery, suffering and death to millions of people, then one might well be inclined to dance, cheer, sing and celebrate rather than to cry and wail when that person dies. And Margaret Thatcher was one such person.

And so we have much of the population singing and dancing to 'Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead'. Good luck to them!

This is supposed to be a democracy that believes in freedom of expression. If that is the case, then heavens - let the people sing as and when they want to. The issue of 'freedom of expression' also came up on another blog entry of mine - 'Emotional Geology'. There is such hypocrisy in this country around this notion.

But what else do we find? That many of those in positions of power and influence that did not like or agree with Margaret Thatcher's policies are not daring to say much about what they actually thought about it all. Presumably, this is because they are worried about being accused of being disrespectful.

And so it is left to the likes of people such as Glenda Jackson (see my previous blog entry) and John Prescott. And even then, Miliband is getting 'ticked off' by the likes of Tony Blair for letting his rank and file run wild. Heavens!

John Prescott  is very brave here, it has to be said. Writing in the Daily Mirror of 12th April 2013 (see http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/john-prescott-margaret-thatcher-deserves-1829090), he refers to how Margaret Thatcher stood on the doorstep on No 10 in 1979 quoting St Francis of Assisi (a sore point for me, as I was brought up to really believe in and value the words of St Francis). Talk about using words and twisting them for one's own agenda. And, this is what Prescott exposes very magnificently.

For example, St Francis saying:

"Where there is doubt, may we bring faith."

And Prescott replying:

"Thatcher never had faith in society. She claimed it didn't exist. Her belief in the individual led to selling off council homes and refusing to build new ones, leading to record waiting lists for social housing and homelessness. "

He ends his article saying:

"On Wednesday I'll remember the wasted lives, the blighted childhoods and the lost industries that were the result of Margaret Thatcher's policies.

And I'll pay tribute to a former PM who made Britain stronger, healthier and happier, not weaker, sicker and despondent.

Clement Attlee, Prime Minister, 1945-1951."

Right on John!

I have looked around to see what other famous left people are saying but it is pretty thin on the ground. Shirley Williams's comments in 'The Guardian' of 8th April 2013  (See http://m.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/apr/08/margaret-thatcher-dies-portraits) are quite amusing though, as well are revealing. She says:

"Margaret Thatcher was neither the cleverest nor the most eloquent politician of her generation. But she was without question the most determined...[she studied at Oxford but] The principal of her college, Somerville, the distinguished, radical haematologist Janet Vaughan, dismissed her as 'a second-rate mind', the ultimate academic put-down."

I very much agree with Shirley Williams's comments here. However, this should also help us to be mindful and fearful of those with lesser brains, and lesser intellects - they can do a lot of harm and damage both to society and to individuals if we are not careful.

Indeed, George Monbiot highlighted the fact that the Daily Mail  (no less!) reported the findings of some research that found that conservatives do actually have lower intelligence/lower IQ. This was in an article he wrote for 'The Guardian' on 6th February 2012, entitled 'The right's stupidity spreads, enabled by a too-polite left: Conservatism may be the refuge of the dim. But the room for rightwing ideas is made by those too timid to properly object.'

Monbiot says:

"Paradoxically it was the Daily Mail that brought it to the attention of British readers last week. It feels crude, illiberal to point out that the other side is, on average, more stupid than our own. But this, the study suggests, is not unfounded generalisation but empirical fact...Importantly, it shows that prejudice tends not to arise directly from low intelligence but from the conservative ideologies to which people of low intelligence are drawn...This is not to suggest that all conservatives are stupid. There are some very clever people in government, advising politicians, running thinktanks and writing for newspapers, who have acquired power and influence by promoting rightwing ideologies. But what we now see among their parties - however intelligent their guiding spirits may be - is the abandonment of any pretence of high-minded conservatism."

For the full article see:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/feb/06/right-stupidity-spreads-enabled-polite-left

So, we must keep our wits about us in general and not fool ourselves otherwise, and try to ensure that wise heads and some kind of worthiness prevails in some way.

Anyway, the whole thing about grieving and the supposed importance of being respectful to the dead is clearly playing an important part in all of this. Even though no such rules apply to dictators and thugs abroad that die and that we, as a country, are pleased about. Oh no, it is fine to celebrate such deaths!

Glenn has also had some interesting comments made on his Facebook page on this matter; with him being accused of being disrespectful to the dead and those grieving. One person, for example, said 'What about her family?' suggesting that Glenn shouldn't be talking in the way that he was. But how on earth do we know how her family feel or how they want to grieve? And how presumptuous of us to assume that we do know. As well as Mark Thatcher's many shortcomings anyway - but we won't go into that one here.

But when my father-in-law died, for example, I was going around the house singing and dancing to Michael Jackson's music. Now, no-one else would or could understand that, and I would not expect them to. How ridiculous it all is!

And so, for now, I rest my case. But that is all I am resting for now!

Music

I love music; I can't live without music; it is my lifeblood; it is like bread and water to me.

My love of books is fairly well-known now, I think, but not so much my love of music. Well, in essence, music is just as important to me as books. I just could not carry on/live without either. Books and Music - the essentials of life, as far as I am concerned!!

I have been a little reticent about talking about all this publicly; when I first got published, I took the professional approach; then the political and Marxist theoretical approach.

It is only over the last year or so that I have started making my love of literature and music more public. And as I say, the focus has still been very much on the novel (apart from my long piece about Michael Jackson - as I was so beside myself over his sudden death).

Anyway, I now feel that it is time to rectify this anomaly, and to say something more about my love of music. As with books, I have loved music for as long as I remember. But I guess the big difference is that with books, reading books, it was all very much my decision (well reading a book has to be doesn't it - it is such a personal, individual experience). As a child, I took myself off to the local public library; I choose which books to borrow; I went home and read them. Then, of course, there were the books that I got for presents. But even then - one chooses whether or not to read them, what order to read them, whether to read all or some of them, whether to re-read them etc. And of course, this love of books has remained with me forever. When some people say that they never read a book I am very puzzled - however, do they get by in life, I think? But of course, that is only my way of looking at it all. We are all very different, when all is said and done. I love getting into the minds of different people; or at least, people that think, that have things to say and express; and that can do this well - i.e. getting into the minds of published authors. This is so, whether it be fiction or non-fiction, but of course, fiction was my first love.

As a child, music, in contrast, was all around me (it was not something that I decided to do on my own in the way that reading books was). My mother loved to sing and dance; I sang hymns at church; I was in a choir; my mother was in a choir; I went to concerts (I remember being very keen on Gilbert and Sullivan, for example); I listened to music on the radio; and I learnt the piano and the recorder (although I wasn't so keen on the 'learning the piano fiasco' - the cold front room and all that - no central heating in those days). Anyway...But then in my mid teens I started buying some records of my own. Cat Stevens was one of my first loves here.

Then, when I went to university I bought myself a record player and lots of records (certainly did not want a TV). Lovely! I also used to go to university discos about 3 times a week and danced very energetically and enthusiastically; I was in heaven. I absolutely loved it. Lots of wonderful music used to waft across the campus as well; Pink Floyd's 'The Dark Side of the Moon' was the ultimate; it was brilliant. The sounds of that wafted across the campus, from student's rooms, more than any other album or artist. We all loved it. The sun shone, and Pink Floyd sang.

And so, this love of music has continued ever since - always looking out for the next interesting album, the next artist etc. These days I borrow lots of CDs from my local library in Ilford - that way I can get familiar with a large repertoire of music without it costing me too much. Great. I love it.

So, I read, I write, I listen to music, I dance, I sing etc. Truly wonderful; I am in seventh heaven as long as I have all this. Take it all away from me and I would be doomed. But I certainly don't intend to go down that path!

Although I had private piano lessons as a child (and also learnt the recorder actually), I was not properly classically musically trained. This is one of the problems with music. It can still be very much a class/elitist thing, when all is said and done. You know, middle class parents having the money and inclination to send their children to private music lessons (particularly important given how poorly resourced music departments in schools tend to be). Breaking out of that mould is very difficult. And can folks make a living/make money out of music? Well, very difficult. So, folks often choose the 'safer' career options; but without music we are all the poorer. What an impossible life it would be without these wonderful creative outlets. Dear oh dear! But it is wrong that, once again, those that are not so well off can tend to suffer.

In regard to music and libraries, whilst we all know that libraries are for borrowing books, we can sometimes forget, or at least look over the fact, that they can also be very good for borrowing music!I have gone through various phases with this one; well, I go through phases with my library-usage anyway, but more so with music....

When I was on maternity leave with our eldest son, Alexander, I used to borrow a lot of music records from our local library in Coventry - yes, it was still records in those days!

Then, on and off over the years, I have borrowed music CDs from the local library - and of course, this was easy when I worked in the public library service myself. Furthermore, our middle son, Victor, worked at Kensington Central Library for a couple of years. They have a wonderful music library there -with lots of music CDs but also lots of music scores and books about famous composers etc. Anyway, he borrowed lots of CDs whilst he worked there; some of which I liked but quite a lot of which did not appeal to my tastes all that much. Still - it was all an interesting experience!

Then, last year, after my father-in-law died I picked it all up again. The music selection in my very local library was useless; but Ilford Library (not far away) has a wonderful collection I discovered. Now, months later, I am borrowing music CDs again on a regular basis. It means that I can listen to a large repertoire of music without it costing me too much. I also like the physical thing of going into the library - so, no I don't want to get it all from the Internet, if anyone asks. I have heard some wonderful music by this method. I love listening to new music as well - so this is a great way in which I can keep cheerful, listen to and absorb a lot of new music, sharing music with others, as well as having a great time dancing around, relaxing etc - without it all costing a lot of money. Winners all round - until the cuts start biting. Whatever is Cameron and his crew doing to the public library service, and indeed, to our public services and way of life, in general. But I try not to think about it all too much; it is too depressing, and just all to dreadful. Why did people vote in all this rubbish? But then again, whilst the electorate can be blamed for voting in Thatcher, they can't be blamed for voting in Cameron in the same sort of way. Cameron does not have a mandate from the people for this right-wing government; but still, he continues, never-the-less.

I love such a lot of different types of music; I could not begin to say where it begins and ends. A lot of the time, these days, I prefer the softer artists over the heavy rock and metal ones, it has to be said; but then again, I/we go through phases with music, and a lot of the time, it can depend on one's mood, can it not. It is the continued freshness and the difference that I love; and the ability that music has to reflect your mood - I put on a certain type of music when I am in one mood; and a different type of music when I am in a different mood. One can express oneself through music in ways that it is not possible to in any other way. And we need a variety of ways in which to be able to express ourselves.

But certainly, I love listening to new music; to music that I have not heard before. I am not one of those that likes to keep listening to the same thing time after time after time.

At the moment, there are a number of strands to all of this music for me: listening to music (CDs etc); dancing; singing in a choir; going to concerts; seeeing live bands (including our local folk night, 'Forest Roots'), watching music programmes on the TV and DVD; enjoying our middle son Victor's band, 'Cold Hands & Quarter Moon' and all the excitement around watching them grow, develop, listening to the new songs that Victor writes etc. etc.

Perhaps, I will write some other blogs about particular artists and albums that I enjoy/have enjoyed. Have to see.

But for now, let's sing and dance, and enjoy all the wonderful things that music can offer and bring to us.

Elton John supporting talented Musicians

Elton John is another musician that I have always very much liked and admired; he has a lot of natural musical talent, I think, and I enjoy a lot of his music.



So, it is wonderful that he is now trying to help young up and coming talented musicians. He seems to be disillusioned with the music industry today, in many ways, with programmes such as 'Pop Idol' and the 'X-Factor', which does not provide very much opportunity for real musical talent to be able to shine through in.



The Sunday Times of 10th October 2010 included an article about the help he is giving to some of these musicians (p.3). The article, by Dalya Alberge is entitled 'I'm still spending - on complete unknowns'. The article reports that Elton John has spent over £1million financing dozens of students at the Royal Academy of Music, London personally financing 42 students to train there. Elton John enrolled himself at the Royal Academy as a classical music scholar over 50 years ago, when he was just 11 years old. He won a scholarship to the academy in its scheme for talented musicians and studied Bach and Chopin there for 6 years, although he dropped out before his final exams. Elton John received a doctorate from the college in 2002. He says that the training that he received at the Academy was 'vitally important' to his career. I think he is very thankful for it, and wants to try to pay something back in some way.

Elton John told the Sunday Times:

"I am so proud to be able to support the academy in any way I can and will always be grateful to them for opening the doors for me and so many other young musicians to develop our talents and live our lives in music."

Next, he is planning a second concert; this time at the Royal Opera House, in order to raise a further £600,000 for the Academy.

Elton John has also helped various other people in the past. Michael Jackson thanked him for helping him to stop taking prescription morphine, for example, and he helped Princess Diana to deal with her bulimia.

I read the newspapers these days, and my heart sinks. The government is 'putting the boot in' here, there and everywhere, and young people are suffering really hard, I think, with the huge proposed increases in tuition fees, along with debt, the recession and a lack of jobs, and unaffordable housing. But anyway, amidst reading all this gloom I suddenly read this wonderful, uplifting article. I think that we should start putting more of our faith in musicians and less in politicians.

Our son Victor Rikowski is doing very well on the music front; his musical talent is really starting to shine through in Bangor in a significant way. Quite a lot of new, good things have already been happening to him on this front, following on from the local Bangor radio programme that he was on a couple of weeks ago, with his band, 'Cold Hands & Quarter Moon'. The person that interviewed them, James McAllister, really rates them, I think, and is doing his best to try to promote them more.

How wonderful it would be if 'Cold Hands & Quarter Moon' could somehow or other be brought to the attention of Elton John!